Calming the Mother Rage It was 5pm, in the kitchen on a Tuesday afternoon. I emitted a roar so thunderous that my toddler wailed and my sons abandoned the television’s glare to investigate. Next appeared my husband, clutching an open laptop whilst swiftly cutting off a colleague mid-sentence. Eyes watched in confusion as I visibly […]
Ruby in the Rubble submission by Lauren Kaighan A note from Anna: Pleasing others and ensuring they think I’m a good person has been a driver for so much in my life, and also the reason I’ve held back. Address this (I’ve written a course called The People Pleasing Course to help guide you in […]
‘I shouted at Charlie. Like, really shouted at him. He cried. I cried, and now I feel bad’ Oh Anna, we all do that. Don’t worry about it. It’s tough. Everyone loses it sometimes. It’s not like it’s all the time. ‘I can’t remember the last day I didn’t have a drink. Just one the […]
I think I’ve changed my mind about self-care. Self-care is not a shower. It’s not peeing when you need to. It’s not hydrating or going to bed instead of doing another load of washing. That is self-respect. Does my husband think he’s engaging in ‘a little self care’ when he hops into the shower to […]
Guilt for not being enough, doing enough, doing it well enough. Guilt for juggling, for struggling, or for thriving when others are surviving. Guilt for wanting space, for finding it hard when others have it harder. Guilt for not being present, for resenting, for wanting more. Guilt, guilt, guilt. Guilt has become the soundtrack to […]
You only have to glance the aisles of the supermarkets to know that people have been considering the practicalities of being isolated in their own homes. But how do we address the impact that isolation will have on our mental health? Understandably, there is a lot of fear, trepidation and anxiety around the uncertainty of […]
(My Reframing Anxiety Course goes into significant depth on health anxiety, but I’ve been asked numerous times a day to write about how to handle Coronavirus anxiety, so I am putting some of my tips into context). Perhaps you find yourself obsessively checking the news for fresh articles on Coronavirus or scouring updated statistics. Maybe […]
I’m sharing this letter in honour of Gi Fletcher and her beautiful book, Letters on Motherhood. I wrote this to my son Charlie, when he was 5 months old. It was typed through tears as I spent New Years Eve of 2016 alone on the sofa. It’s a stark reminder of how things always move […]
Me: ‘ I can’t stand people being sick’ Someone else: ‘yeah, nobody likes people being sick’ But does everyone else.. Wake with a racing heart after repeated nightmares about vomiting? Replay historic sickness scenarios through their minds like unwelcome horror films? Experience a sharp rise of panic when someone coughs loudly on a train? Feel […]
(Sponsored post by Waterwipes) What a rollercoaster parenthood is! However, a quick scroll through social media would often have us believe that we’re the only ones sitting on this hair-raising ride. It seems like comparison is king and we often feel like we’re the only ones winging it. I’m going to share my top parenting […]
(Those who follow my work will know I had a girl in my third pregnancy. This article was written prior to the pregnancy, updated for use in an alternative context and then placed on my blog. Gender disappointment can prompt feelings of guilt and shame, and these feelings are valid and deserve exploration regardless of […]
I can’t remember when driving became the focus of so much of my anxiety, or when the flashes of intrusive thoughts began to flicker across my mind.
I have recently announced my third pregnancy! I am due in the middle of February next year. From the outside, it looks like we’re just completing our little family, but those who’ve followed my Instagram account and blog, will know that the decision to try for a third child, wouldn’t have been an easy one […]
I’m, going to share my top tip for those trying to address their anxiety. As you know, I LOVE a metaphor, so bear with me on this, it will make perfect sense in a moment. My husband badly hurt his shins running a marathon. He couldn’t walk and had to temporarily re-locate to the creaky […]
Do you ever just wish you had a reset button somewhere. A little red button that you could press, hold and reboot? Over the last few days I’ve had this little squirmy, nagging need to reset somehow. There were things I’d slowly let slip over the last months. I had that familiar low grade, white […]
Last year, after a morning of hasty Christmas shopping, we sat down at a hectic, over full Wagamama table. The four of us, dogeared, whining and hangry. In walked a Boden advert. A family of four, with children a similar age to ours, dressed impeccably in Breton stripes and polo shirts. The mum and the […]
My house is tidy. Pretty much always, generally tidy. (I am having to claw my fingers in order to stop writing ‘I’m sorry’) Obviously there are pockets of chaos when the kids have just emptied the toys everywhere, or the husband has been at the kitchen, but generally, my house is fairly neat. Through instagram, […]
Vicious cycles are just that, vicious. You get used to the rhythms of your life and mental health. You know the things you do to make yourself feel better and give you a spring back into your step be it momentary, and you know the things that take you down or set you off into […]
I don’t care what you think. Well, I do really, but I care a lot less about what people think than I used to and it’s been life changing. People-pleasing is like being on a hamster wheel and not being able to hop off when you’re knackered. No amount of ‘thank you’s, or compliments will […]
One of the things that tips petrol onto Mum guilt, turning it from a glowing ember into a ferocious fireball is the belief that we ‘should’ enjoy every moment. Here is my battle: On the one hand I’m trying to live in the moment with my boys, fuelled by the very truthful platitudes of: ‘Make […]
I heard a sad story today. It made me want to hold everyone I love so closely. Not out of pure enjoyment, but out of fear that something may happen. I know I’ve written about this before but it’s a raw and tricky balance to find. On one hand, you’re aware and scared of losing […]
The turning of autumn leaves, the burnt oranges and reds, always remind me of how nothing is permanent. No feeling is permanent. No depression, no mountain top high, no plodding along…nothing is permanent. It’s as if our life has seasons beyond the turning of the earth. I’ve had winters that have lasted days, months and years. […]
One of the most difficult thing about being alive, can be the acceptance of our humanness.Humanness, by it’s very nature, is imperfect. We all have a dark side, a tricky bit, a part we don’t like people to see. The ugly parts, the grumpy moods, the judgemental, critical, shouty bit. The messy, the angry, the […]
The way we eat is often a direct insight into our relationship with ourselves. Woah…that’s heavy Anna! Yup, yup it is. Tonight I had a healthy dinner planned. A sweet potato and chickpea scenario. However, I had an argument in my mind (or on stories) because I just wanted to grab the emergency pizza out […]
Needing help is a weakness. Asking for it is shameful. That’s our cultural lesson. Self sufficiency is king. If we can’t fix ourselves, we’ve failed. If we ‘need’ from another, we’ve lost something of ourselves.This is my constant battle. My raging self-sufficiency is both a blessing and a curse. It can make one driven and […]
On Wednesday we did our usual rush to football. My aim is aways to grab a coffee to sip whilst fielding Charlie as Oscar plays football. Time slips away at home and I always cast an eye into Costa to survey the queue. If it’s too busy, we dash on. If there’s no queue, it’s […]
??NO!!!?? This term is batted around so generously. Yes, of course, recognise moments for their worth and enjoy them if you can. But, life can be shit. Days can be long. Tears can be plentiful and salty. Curve balls, words, moods, drama, trauma, tantrums, bad news, tantrums…happen. You can feel like you’ve been depleted of the […]
I bet you slip the word ‘should’ into your vocabulary all the time. ‘I really should…’ or ‘I shouldn’t..’ Every time we do this, we are are trying to keep ourselves in check, telling ourselves we ‘should’ feel guilty if we don’t do what we feel we ‘should’ do. It’s an opportunity to conform to […]
It’s in our nature to present the best bits of our homes, faces; relationships, lives, children. I mean, why wouldn’t we! We KNOW that they are the best bits, we know that there are messy piles out of shot, that the momentary smile has been the only one in the day amidst the grumpy whining, […]
Some days, we breeze through until we fall into bed tired and content. Some days feel like trudging through sticky treacle, every step requiring strength and muscle, and we fall into bed surprised that we made it through.Some people have more treacle days than others, for some, they are few and far between. Some treacle […]
Sleep! I don’t know about you, but sleep has a direct affect on my emotional and mental health. Oh and physical too! Lack of sleep trashes my tolerance for whining kids, stress and….you know, life. What are your sleep habits like? Are you a tea and iPad before bed kinda person? Or a hot bath […]
Here’s to being OPEN. For openness leads to FREEDOM. Here’s to the end of secrets and shame. Here’s to hugs and kindly faces. Here’s to the TRUTH that we aren’t alone. Here’s to the END of silencing our own anxiety, depression and neuroses. Here’s to HOPE that THERE IS A WAY through. Here’s to the […]
Sitting in the car on the way to the airport, my 3 year old Oscar fell asleep on my shoulder. His little hand relaxed in mine. I looked at him, his hand, his face. I felt an overwhelming, aching love for him. A roaring wave of gratitude. What did I do to deserve my children? […]
At the start of Yoga this Saturday, our teacher read a script telling us to ‘start where you are’. We are where we are. That’s all we are now. We’re not the us of yesterday or the us that we may be tomorrow. It got me thinking about how often we delay doing things that […]
Self-care isn’t as simple as taking a long bath or booking in a manicure. It’s about value, self-worth and believing you deserve treating yourself with care and respect. It’s about recognising the difference in what one day may be self-care, can be self-destructive procrastination the next. It can be a fine line. It’s about how […]
I’m the first to acknowledge that I’ve spent the majority of my life as a perfectionist. An insatiable demand placed over myself, by myself. A desire to be the best, with little room left for my humanness. I never believed I was enough. I could write a whole post on how I have begun to […]
I wrote this on New Years Eve as the calendar switched to 2017. Reading it again now, as life feels far fuller of hope and enjoyment, it breaks my heart that I felt so low and desperate. I wanted to publish it incase it might be helpful for anyone – feel free to share. I […]
We often think about how we talk to others. We watch our language and re-play our words. We care. We jump to defend if someone speaks cruelly to someone we love. If we were to witness the bullying of a friend, our heart would leap with a desire to protect and argue against words viciously […]
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